More Similar Than You Think

How many times have you heard - or said - this:

Only to turn around in the next 30 minutes and see - or do - this:

Coming soon: E! - Sports

Why Can't I Find Any 5lb Weights?

Contrary to the conclusion you might draw from this graph, the meathead, in general, does not waste time actually lifting the 5 and 10-lb weights. No, no. There's no time for such silliness when you are getting your swoll on.

What actually happens is that in a macho display of indifference, the 5 and 10-lb plates are commandeered for other tasks, such as propping up an unstable leg on a chair, saving your spot on a bench, or stacking on your chest to prevent the 550-lbs you are bench pressing from crushing your sternum and turning all of your internal organs into a flat, homogeneous mess (I've literally seen this last one take place).

The 5-lb weight stands against everything the meathead believes in. Namely, racking up ridiculous amounts of weight than you can only lift once or twice with very poor form in order to impress the entire crowd of 1 person that is watching you. And they're only watching because they want to find out if a 911 call will be necessary when you're done...

What Everyone Is Thinking...

 

How do you spend enough time in the gym to reach a 500 lb bench press and still have a spare tire?